In the hallway of that house she was walking and passed by the room where her late sister stays before. She got curious on what was inside it because she doesn’t get inside at this room even in the old times, but now she wants to see it.
Every time she passed by this abandoned room she felt that there is something in it. It’s like there are footsteps following her. There is someone looking at her and she’s shivering.
She opened the door and got inside looked around and examines every inch, everything in this dull room. She saw a little notebook then she felt nervous and she knew that there is something in it. As if there were horses inside his system. Then she opened it then started to read.
My journal:
“Farfalla!” mother shouted, her voice roaring as if a mad lion. I am in the kitchen preparing for the huge dinner. This is the night that my beloved Vien and his parents will ask for the hands of my younger sister.
“Hey! You deaf! Am I not calling you? Have you done all the dishes for this especial night of your sister?”
“Ahm, ah… yes mother. It’s already done.” I answered in a trembling voice.
“I’m just finishing the garnish for this Honey Sweet Strawberry for the desert.”
“Don’t be so ridiculous Farfalla! You know it from yourself that Vien is going to marry your sister and you have nothing to do with this
While putting some chopped strawberries on top of the roll my eyes got wet and I cannot see what I was doing then but just the sweet moments that Vien and I have shared before.
I am sitting under the oak tree where I’ve used to go to unwind for some couple of hours from the stressful cruelty of my mother and perhaps my sister. While I let myself shed the tears this curious young man approached me and lends me his white handkerchief. Without uttering any words I feel the warmth comfort from him.
I looked up only being hypnotized by the brightness of his blue- green eyes. Oh! The lovely two eyes of him! He asked for my name but I answered stammering.
“Ah…I am Farfalla, ahm…t-thanks for this. I-I have to go. I don’t want them to see me here. I said and I run in a rush did not mind what he has to utter.
“By the way my name is Vien.” He shouted.
That night while I was half sitting in my bed, I am dreaming of his face near me, the sparkling eyes that made me fall for him and that voice that makes me insane! That finally hit me and realized the new feelings that I have. It is new because I never have fallen in love before and always here, inside the four corners of this house that full of cruelty and madness of my family. I only have the time to escape when mother and Iszabelle went out. These new feelings that I have made me decide to fight but perhaps, I’m afraid, I’m afraid of what they could do to me.
Every day before the sun set, I was there at my place sitting and waiting that he may be coming. But there was no him there. As the day passed through I was being hopeless that he wouldn’t come back anymore. But I am determined to wait until he’s there, until I’d see him again.
One afternoon, while I’m on my way home from that oak tree, someone was calling me and I looked on and find that it’s him! It’s him who I was waiting for so long. My heart jumps into happiness but I controlled myself even if I wanted to hold him tight and confess my love.
“Farfalla, I know you’re already on your way home but could you just give me only some of your time please?” He asked in a hurry and panting.
“Ah…yeah…sure, what can I do for you?” I replied. Wanting and hoping that he would confess.
“I’ve been waiting for so long. I would grab the opportunity now that I think I have all the courage to tell you what I feel.” He said looking straight at me.
“Do you know that I’ve been watching you in a distance since I met you here with the tears and I got curious about you that made me think of you every night? You do not have any idea how I got crazy dreaming that I am holding you tight and lying with m—.”
“Are you telling me that you have feelings for me? Do you love me?” I said not finishing his words.
“Oh! Yes! I do love you since then. But I am afraid to tell you.” He answered with all the sincerity and love.
“But why?” I asked full of confusion.
“B-because if I had tell you earlier before you might not believe me. But now I’m all confident and sure with my feelings. That I love you! Could you accept my love for you?” he asked his eyes looking at me.
“Oh! Vien! Yes, I love you too. I really do love you! It’s the same that I’d loved you the day that we first met.” I replied full of love.
He closed my mouth into his warmth and sweet kisses. We kissed each other passionately until we couldn’t catch our breath anymore. We’re both moaning in the sweet tongue that explores each other’s. How awesome the feeling of being in love and being loved. I couldn’t just express it in a single word. I felt like I was Cinderella then. Lived he life in a happily ever after. But when our lips parted there is a light in his eyes that bothers me. Then he speaks.
“Am afraid to tell you but I have to.” He said.
“What is it? C’mon tell me, maybe we could work together on it.” I replied.
“Ahh…m-my parents wants me to marry another woman that I’ve never loved. They wanted it to continue the traditions of the family and the friendship that they’d established since then.” He said with hurting voice as if in physical hurt.
“Oh…Couldn’t we just tell them about us that we loved each other. And maybe that could change their minds. I belong to the elite class too. And maybe I can help to you.” I said.
“That’s not that simple. They can leave me with nothing. They would do all the things that would ruin my life if I would disobey them. That’s how ruthless they are.” He said in a total worry.
“Better that you know that my dear son-in-law.” Mother interrupted. Iszabelle was in her side just looking on us.
I looked on him with my eyes asking. He couldn’t utter any single word to explain.
“Yes, Farfalla is it unbelievable that Iszabelle and Vien are soon to marry? His father and I have the agreement since I born Isza. And you two have nothing to do with this anymore. So you better end up what you just started. You have no right to be in live with this man anymore! Because he belongs to Isza now.” She said.
Upon knowing that my love will soon be married with my sister is very hard to accept and it hurting so much that my heart broke into pieces. I feel like I would die right there and then. I looked on him only to see the ring he wears. It pierces me and I looked to Isza too they have the same ring! Oh! I don’t know what to say and what to do anymore! I turned on to my back then run away thinking how to escape this nightmare. I walked towards my room then lay still nothing to think of…
After the dinner was done and the Gardoni Family have gone already and finalized the plan of the soon wedding I go to my room and lean for a while to gain just a little energy but I couldn’t.
I just get a little old notebook and a pen then started to write. Why is it possible that I couldn’t think of the things but I can write what I have to? The pen just following what my hands has to do. I write the story of my life that‘s full of darkness that my family brought me in. full of anger. Maybe someday they were able to find this little notebook and read the story of mine.
This night I will go back to that oak tree brings my final breath…
I made a position that will make me comfortable. I lean on the strong trunk of the oak tree, and then look at the horizon, feeling the gentle kisses of the wind blows that somehow chasing the sadness and fears that embracing me. Sadness of the fact that the man I’d vowed to love eternity will soon be married not with me but to my sister. Fears, yea, it is fear of what I could do if that moment comes. Thinking of the mad things as if it wasn’t me, as if there is a ghost whispering and commanding me what should I do.
I get the knife that I brought with me…in first it hurts like what the hurts they caused me…as the seconds passed through I felt the hot thick liquid flowing on my hands down to everywhere it flows. This is me, a woman that lives in all darkness, live in shadows.
She closed the note book and realized that she is filled with tears in her eyes. Yes... the shadows of the past. The shadow bothers her. This notebook is the key to unlock the mistakes of the past.
____
No comments:
Post a Comment