Ramia by Michelle Quendangan

“If only I can be one of them…”

It is already dark and the sky is filled with stars. The moon is shining brightly as it bathes the village light. Ramia is sitting beside the broken window glass gazing at the busy villagers down the street. Her hands are cold and slightly close on top of a book placed on her lap. She never dared to open it even flip a single page, but deep inside her, she cannot resist the temptation of opening the book yet she refuses to do so. With her growling stomach and insanity, she imagines that she is talking to the book.

“I will never read you.”

“Why?”

“You know why. I hate everything that’s inside of you.”

“Have I done something wrong? I only wanted you to read me. It’s not faulty at all and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

Ramia is about to open the book with hands trembling but,

“NO!” she shouted

She takes a deep breath, pauses for a while and relaxes. She slowly closes her eyes and later falls into a deep sleep.

“Where am I?”

“You’re inside of me.”

“What! Let me out of here. Let me out!”

But no more answers. Not even a single one.

“Help! Can somebody hear me? Help me!”

She uttered those words many times but nobody responds in return. All she can hear is the echo of her voice.

Everything is in total darkness and the place is in full silence. Ramia begins to walk but she can’t find the road. She starts to bite her lips and her fingers. Her hands are cold and she is sweating. Then walking turns into running. Ramia run and run and run. Her eyes are trembling with tears. And then she stops, takes a deep breath and shouts at the top of her lungs.

“AAAAAHHHHHHHH!”

Then all of a sudden, a blinding light flashes through. Everything that her eyes can see is white. Suddenly a doll fell in front of her. She grabs the doll and looks up. Then one by one, different toys start to fall covering the entire place. To her amusement and excitement, she tries to grasp each and every toy that catches her eyes. A big smile covers her face. She looks at the doll, and speaks to it.

“You brought so many friends! Where did you come from?”

But the doll begins to fade away and so is everything surrounding her. Ramia finds herself being alone again and she starts to frown.

“But I was about to give you this.”

She gets a piece of lollipop from her pocket and stares on it for a while. Then tears run down her face and she started to cry.

“Why are you crying my child?”

Ramia brushes her eyes to take a glance to who is speaking in front of her. She is delighted to see everything around her. The place is now turned into a palace. She finds herself sitting in a tiled floor and all the furniture seems to be expensive. The curtains are color yellow embroidered with silver lining. The couches are too big for one person. The knights are standing beside the huge door and the hall is as big as a stadium. She then looks at herself. She is shocked to see her dress turned into a gown. She is now as beautiful as a princess and most of all; the lady in front of her is the Queen. Much to her surprise, the Queen looks like her mother holding a basket full of delights. She stands up, run towards the queen and is about to hug her but she disappeared with a blink of an eye.

“Where did mother go?”

And so is everything vanishes. The only thing that is left is the basket, a basket full of yummy treats. She picks it up and begins to eat every food she finds. But Ramia notices that there is something wrong. Even though she eats lots and lots of food, she is not satisfied. She is still hungry and she can’t savor the flavor of the food even though it seems to be very delicious. She starts to be annoyed. She throws the foods one by one and last but not least the basket.

“Let me out of here!”

But Ramia only hears her voice bounces back.

“I hate you book! I hate in here. Let me out!”

“Why?”

Finally, the book responds.

“You don’t want in here? I’ve showed you everything you wanted to have.”

“But you’re taking them away from me! Everything don’t seem to last!”

The book did not answer again and so Ramia pauses for awhile. Her face is gloomy and deep inside her is like a knife stabbing her heart.

“All I ever wanted is just to experience how it is like to be a child living in prosperity. Please book, let me out of here. I don’t want to dream anymore.”

Then all of a sudden Ramia falls into deep dark hole and lands into a chair. She finds herself sitting beside the broken window glass with hands cold and slightly close on top of a book placed on her lap.

Ramia opens her eyes. The sun is shining brightly and she hears the singing of the cocks. She turns her focus to the book she is holding and tries to read the title. But unfortunately, she can’t. She takes gasp of air and finally opens the book and look at the pictures. Everything that is in her dream is there, the toys, the palace and even lots of food.

“How I wish, I could have all of you..”

And she closes it.

She places the book on top of a dusty table, put on her slippers and leaves the abandoned house. It is another day for her to visage the reality of life and at her young age, she is a courageous enough.

But, deep inside, she is tired of being a street beggar.

Last Litter of Summer by Aprilyn Celestial

Mother sat quietly while I was packing. It was an early April day. From the window of our small nipa hut I could see the ripe rice grains sway against the wind like a vast ocean of gold. All was still and quiet in the room except the zips from my bag.

 Today I shall leave my barrio to study in Manila. Despite my mother’s disapproval, I insisted on going there. Not many students were given this privilege, so I grabbed the opportunity and now I’m bound to leave.

Mother still would not speak as I headed towards the door. I can’t blame her. The scholarship director told us that I am required to live in Manila until I finished my studies.  Even though I’ll be living at Aunt Mena’s house, Manila is still a very big place, and quite unsafe too.

A small parade of kids followed me as I walked through the barrio streets. Many people were still not used to see a fellow going to Manila. There were anxious glances, and folks peeping at windows.  Every now and then my mother would stop, talking and greeting people. Her wide smiles and lively nods relieved me; she will not be lonely, after all.

A few minutes of walking brought us to the barrios’ end. The wide path was now slowly twisting itself into a narrow trail towards the wilderness. All the children have gone back home except a little barefoot boy in a green kamisa.

“Pandoy,” I called. The boy hurried to me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked “Your mother must be worried.”

Pandoy did not answer but instead looked keenly at my bag. I gave it to him and he held it close in his arms. I understood perfectly. “Look,” I said “if you hurry back home to your mother, I’ll bring you a bag when I come home.” Pandoy’s face lighted up. I patted his head and said “Be a good boy.” He sprang from me and turned towards home while I stood gazing at him until he disappeared on a bend.

Images of Pandoy flooded my mind the moment I lost sight of his small, green-clad body. Pandoy walking around with bare feet. Pandoy who never had a bag in his life. Pandoy looking eagerly at my old and tattered bag. How I wished adults were a simple as little Pandoy.

            “It’s getting too hot.” I started when I heard a voice speak. It was Mother. She was looking at the skies. “I hope it would rain,” she said “the plants were getting quite dried up.” I doubt if she really was talking to me, nevertheless, her remark reminded me that I still have a long way to go.  

             “Mother, I think you should head back now, it’s hot, and the highway’s still far.” 

“No, I must see you off.” she said. She marched straight unto the dirt road and I know she had made up her mind. I tried to start a talk but she spoke no more.

The walk towards the highway was long and straining, but my mother kept a steady pace. Without anything else to do, I started looking around the path which has been my way for 21 years.

 Even with closed eyes I know I could still make my way across this path. It changed so little over time. The old mango tree where I used to steal young mangoes still stood by the riverbank as it did when I was young. At one bend was Mang Teryo’s coconut tree, which I remember hitting with my fists the night Maryang busted me. That was my very first heartache, but I understand, I knew she would be better off with that young Manilenyo than with me.

My musings came to a stop when I caught sight of the road. From there I have to hitch with some traveler to town, and then ride a bus to Manila.

As we stood at the edge of the road, I felt the remaining minutes fast slipping away. I faced my mother and opened my mouth to speak, yet I don’t know what to say. I just looked at her, with all my heart on that gaze, hoping that she could feel it. Suddenly, mother pulled out a piece of folded cloth from her dress.

“This may help you,” she said, handing the cloth to me.

I don’t need to open it. “But Mother, I have----‘ I said, giving the money back, but mother would not accept it. “Manila,” she said, “is a big place, you might get lost on your way to your Aunt Mena, its better you have some extra.”

I cannot argue more. With one last hug I crossed the road to the other side. From where I stand I could see the deep lines on her face. Mother is old. Life has etched its way into the wrinkles on her skin, the whites in her hair.

I felt an urge to comeback, but instead I clutched my fists and planted myself firmly on the ground. Mother was waving. I felt my throat suddenly thicken, but I gulped my hesitations and told myself, “I’m going to Manila and finish my studies; I’ll find a job and come back here. By then I could give her the life she long deserves.”

A jeepney was fast approaching. I waved my hand to catch the driver’s attention. It stopped at my front and I climbed at the roof. I made a last glance at mother. I think I saw tears from her eyes as the jeep sped away.

Her tears were like daggers at my heart. The emotion I have been bottling up burst from my eyes and vanished into the gust. I now know why she wished for rain; so nobody would notice her tears.  

 For a few minutes, I just sat motionless on the rooftop. I bit my lip as the image of her alone in our hut flashed across my mind. I gazed back to where mother was standing, but she was way too far now to be seen. “What have I done? How could I leave her?” I asked myself. In sorrow, I felt like hurting myself and hit the roof of the jeepney.

“My friend, what’s going on there, are you okay?” shouted the driver from below.

“Nothing, Its nothing, I’m sorry.” I shouted back.

The driver’s shout brought me back to reality. The cold breeze cooled and cleared my head. At the same time, I was overwhelmed by the landscape as they passed my view.

“I shall certainly miss your summers,” I said. “But I’ll come back. That time without tears.” 

The Diary of Two Lovers by Sarah de Leon

“I slipped through a muddy soil,

Where I’ve never been before,

Not noticing the dirt and stinky smell,

Yet, I can’t control where I should fall.”

                She closed her wide, thick notebook and hugged it in her arms. Her hair flew with the air going to the west, the same with the breeze of the trees and its leaves. She looked to the children running and laughing. Her lips smiles every time the children laugh out loud. She put down the notebook in the grass and clipped her bangs that made her eyes seen. She picked up her notebook and stood up. She now saw the entire city. She started walking. She walked towards her car, while her hair sways with her aqua green dress.

                Before she got into her car, a Honda CR-V parked beside her car covering it (her car) in her eyes. A man wearing sun glasses went out of the car. He seems to be a prince of a kingdom. He has his white complexion and with a height of six foot. His lip was red enough to be kissable. His hair was differently curled in nature. In his hands was a five pieces of red roses.

                “Don’t you get it? I was late enough to be yelled by dad. Can’t you understand that?”

“Fine. Go on your way.”

“Dude, let me have this time okay, dad needs me right now, it’s their anniversary.”

“Okay, okay! You're excuse. Take care on your way.”

“Thanks!” I pulled out my head set and put it inside its pocket and put it back in my bag. My mind’s totally out of mine. I felt the air keep moving on and on but produce nothing. Dad came back without prior notice. My mind is in enigma, full of questions, full of mystery. The red light alarmed, I stopped and waited for the yellow light to signal me and for the green to tell me to go on. Beside me in the seat are five roses, dad asked me to buy for it, for his only special love. Well, that girl? She’s really calm as the leaves in the tree when summer. She walks like the way cat walks. It would take very high temperature to boil up her temper. And her beauty lasts until the cycle of the weather stop. I couldn’t have what dad and mom had. There’s no such perfect couple. I thought I should say that ‘no string would attached me to somebody’ and be stocked to her in my whole life. I'm not a girl hater. But as I observed my friends handle relationship with girls, they were just used with the love they had for those girls. Girls wanted to be served, they act weak to be protected, they beautify themselves to adore men, and they exist for man assistance. Well, exceptions will just always for my mom.

I saw the side walk vendors. They’re too many. I knew their business is legal, but still they messing up the hi-way, they messing up my mood. Those vendors tell me that I'm near to the place where I head to. I saw the two white gates with a big dark wall at the middle of it that contains the name of that place.

Adrenalin rush! I stamp my foot on the break. I suddenly saw a lady waving her hands to her man giving a beautiful smile. Suddenly a boy runs to her. The boy showed her mom his clean teeth. His mom smiled and kissed him in his forehead. And she whisper to her son,

“Wait for me to come home and I’ll have a surprise for you! Stay with dad and behave, okay!”

“Beep! Beep!” a sound I heard outside that scenario. It wakens me up. I don’t have choice, but to go on. As I entered the gate, I turned left to reach the parking lot. I didn’t expect much people here these days, but there are lots! I saw glimpsed of grandma and grandpa’s house. It isn’t been so long when it was built. We were also the one who help grandma and grandpa transfer here, it’s been two years when they decided to stay here. Mom too, she decided to take care of grandma and grandpa, it was last year. She said we may visit them here, anytime we wanted. That’s why; we were here, to visit them.

I drive straight to the parking place where there’s only one car. I wonder why people don’t park their car here. Anyways, I'll park beside this Jazz sport. I turned off the car. I picked up the roses. I was about to go out of the car when I noticed a girl walking toward me. She’s weird, really weird. She has a long hair and her bangs were clipped. Her rosy cheeks and cute pinkish lips. She’s in dress, not sexy actually, she’s chubby. But the weird thing was, “Why carry a notebook in this type of place?” Well, it’s her trip. I wonder what the role of that notebook in this place is. While looking at that girl, I had a brilliant idea.

“What type of girl she is?” I picked up my sun glass in my bag and wear it. I opened the door and went out of the car. I stand for the moment and look at her reaction. I thought that girl would be tantalized with my looks. I thought she would stop walking, but she seems saw nothing. I felt rejected. Maybe she didn’t notice me. Maybe she’s out of her mind. She passed through me without any glance. I started walking when I heard the other car started.

“So, she owns the car.” I said concluding that the car was hers. I slowly walk and waited her car to pass by me. Then I continue walking to grandparents’ house.

The doors already open as I reached my grandparents’ house. Dad’s already here, I told myself. I looked around the place before entering the house. There’s lot of people here, having reunions. As I entered the door, I saw dad standing in front of mom. They were both quiet. I know dad noticed me through my shadow covering mom.

“He’s here honey.” Dad told mom, but she didn’t replied.

                “Hi Mom! How are you there? Look at dad mom, his gray hair multiples a lot compare to our last visit here.” I said teasing dad. “I know you’ll yell at me, because I'm little too early for the visit tomorrow.” I smiled, “as a peace offering…” I looked at the red roses in my hands. “I bought it for you, these three roses was for you.” I walked slowly to her and kneel down as I reached her. “I know you’ll like it.” I pressed the stem of the rose. The torn was removed but, I felt the torn hurt me and reaches my heart. I felt the blood bleeding in my heart with a mixture of fallen drops that waters the roses. I felt the heat of dad’s hands while he tries to comfort his young boy.

                “She’s thankful. She is.” Dad said followed by a deep air released came from his heart.

                “I missed you mom.” I said, but I heard no reply. Though I'm still dissatisfied, I put down the roses in front of her. I stood up and turned back to hide the longing and emptiness running in my heart as I burst all the guilt and shame I felt for myself. There’s no more failure than to be rejected by the one you loved most. There’s no more emptiness than to be left alone because she chose to live with her special love ones. No more hurt than this. “I'll go upstairs dad, I'll give it to grandma and grandpa.” Showing him the two roses left.

                “Hurry, I can’t stay any longer here.” He said.

                “So much for me.” I said and I went upstairs.

                I wanted to greet them, but I know they won’t talk to me. I walked towards them, and place the roses in front of them. “So, you’re both happy now. You have mom, she’s been here for a year. Can I ask for her now? Can I ask for my mom to comfort me now?” I know I won’t receive any reply from them, I just let them be quiet and take this time to express my yearning and hunger for my mom’s attention.

                “Bye, until we meet again.” I went downstairs and found dad was already outside. He really can’t see mom like that. I was going out of the gate but I turned again to mom. “I'll visit you again mom. Next time I’ll bring a vase so that the flowers here won’t just be dried and fly by the wind.”

                “Come on, let’s go.” Dad hurriedly said. He pulled the gate. He gave me the keys on the padlock of the upper part of the gate, while he padlocks the lowest part.

                “You’re really old dad. Since I have the strong bones and the height, you’re giving tasks that you can’t. If only mom knew it, I know she’ll divorce you.”

                “Don’t tell me that you have the height. I still have the charm and appeal to girls than you.” He said, he knew that I hate him when he jokes like that. He knew that I won’t allow him to marry and replace mom in his heart.

                “That’s my choice dad. I won’t be tied up until I found mom to another woman.” I said while looking at mom inside the house.

                “Even twins were unique to each other.” Dad said then he walked to the tree near the house.

                Dad put his hands to his pocket. I followed him there. I stand beside him.

“This is the same tree where I’d comforted mom two years ago.” I put my hands on dads back.

“I was wrong of giving her all the money and failed to give her time. She must be here; she must always be here, supporting me. ”

“Oh I see, you wanted mom to wake up and be with you all the time of your life. Like the one following you everywhere you go?” I told him with a scary voice.

                “Oh common son!” He removed my hand on his back. “I wanted her live with us as a normal family not a nightmare in my whole life! It’s not a good place to scare me, okay!”

                I laughed so loud. “Yeah I felt scared too. I think we should leave this place now.” We walked to the parking lot, hearing the hissing sounds of the wind and the laughter’s of the children while they play.

                She came again and again to the same place where there’s no body is staying. She visited the place every next page of the calendar. She meets someone who’s not there. She seats on the green pasture, letting her hair flew with the wind. She loves watching others doing their stuffs; she didn’t notice someone’s enjoying watching her. 

I was already in school when my maiden was born. I could play when she learn to suck her finger. She entered school when I was already in the secondary level. We crossed our ways when she was ready to be taken. We got married.

She always park her car isolated to others. She seats always on the same ground. She always carries on her arm her notebook. She writes something hidden in my eyes, something I do not know. Lately, she missed going to that grass. Maybe, she’s too busy.

Our love is for eternity. For eternity, even she’s gone. She’ll always be here, inside this fist size pumping liquid inside my body. She’ll always be here. My love will stay as long as I have this breath. I'll keep living, keep waiting. I'll stay with my son, and trying to fulfill what she had missed to comply. And maybe, for one day, I'll wake up and she was the one waiting for my eyes to open.

She surprised visited that place, but this time, she isn’t alone. She was with relatives, maybe. I could see it in her; she was pretty disgusted of what had happen. But I am sure of one thing. That person who was with her was not favor for her decision. From that day, she stayed here. She stayed with me, she lives here, and I work here. Sometimes, there are unknown visitors here. Even though she wasn't with me during her early years, I am much happy to spend time with her, during her old age. 

Princess Tutu by Paola Abegail Malibiran

Sometimes, destinies are not always what they seem to be. Oftentimes they are the other side of what you really wanted. And oftentimes, they are everything that you could ever hope for. Now, I will tell you a story, perhaps a fairytale about a girl named Azumi, who probably has her own way of describing her destiny. I don’t know if this has a connection with the story itself, but, I’ll still try. Now then, the story goes like this: in a ballet school dormitory lived a young girl by the name of Azumi.

She is an ordinary girl with an extraordinary personality. She loves to dance ballet. And is attending a ballet school where everyone desires to be the partner of a very graceful and handsome prince named Keio. Keio dances ballet gracefully. But his heart is as empty as a shell. He doesn’t express anything for anyone. His emotions are somewhat lacking in him. One fine morning, Azumi decided to go to the Prince’s mansion to see if she could find the prince there.

 When she entered the mansion, she noticed that it was very dark inside. The curtains and windows are closed and she could barely see the furnitures. As she walked inside, she looked for the prince. She searched every room in the mansion and did not find any prince there. Until there was one last room in the mansion that was left. It is located at the topmost part of the mansion. She went to the room and entered it hoping to find the prince there. As she went inside, the room was also dark. But in a little part of the room, she saw a person dancing. The dancer was very graceful and his moves were very refined. She watched the person dance until he was finished.

Then, when the dancer was finished, Azumiclapped her hands with amazement. And when a stroke of light hit the dancer’s face, it was the prince Keio.Azumi was surprised and felt embarrassed at what she did. The prince approached her and asked her if she could dance with him. But as he went closer to her, Azumirefused and just told the prince that his dance was very graceful. The prince thanked her and Azumiran away- leaving the prince all alone.

She ran as fast as she could on her way out of the big, dark mansion. Her heart was beating fast and she was still in shock of what had happened. When she was out, she felt relieved. Azumi did not accept Keio’s offer because she dances poorly when she is an ordinary girl. And she would not want to make a mistake and embarrass herself in front of the prince. She went back to her dormitory at school. Until then she was thinking about the prince’s face. When she looked onto the prince’s eyes, she could hardly see any emotion at all. She felt sad for the prince and wondered why he was like that.

At night, she was having trouble getting some sleep. So she decided to go outside in her most favorite place in the whole school- the garden. Upon arriving there, she felt that she was free and put out her magical necklace. And the magic happened. As soon as she held the pendant in hand, she quickly transformed from ordinary Azumito extraordinary Princess Tutu. She danced gracefully and made her way across the lovely garden. She twirled in the air and danced as she had never danced before. Not knowing that there was someone watching her from the mansion.

As the person was watching the beautiful dancer, he felt a strange emotion in his heart, and that was happiness. And a thing happened that has never occurred before in this person or rather Prince’s life- he smiled.  Watching Princess Tutu dance made him happy because in his heart he knew that there was some kind of a connection between them. A connection that would someday bring them closer together.

Meanwhile, deep in the dark forest, there lies an evil raven who wants the prince all for herself. Seeing the scenario made her furious and devised a plan how she could get rid of the Princess and control Prince Keio’s heart so she can get his affections for her. And so, she thought of using a poisoned raven’s feather to stab into the prince’s heart in order to control his emotions.  And without another word, she left her dark cave and went for the prince and Princess.

But before she could get any closer, she was blinded by the light from Princess Tutu’s dancing. The light made her weak and she was not able to move a single finger. Princess Tutu’s dance was so full of emotions that it struck her evil, deceitful heart. While the prince was watching from the mansion’s window, he saw that the raven was after the princess. And so, he took his sword and ran as fast as he could, out from the dark mansion and into the light which made him want to help the beautiful Princess who was in danger.

When he saw the raven, he pointed out his sword to the black raven and told her to go and leave the princess alone. When the raven heard this, she quickly disappeared without a sight and back to her cave. And Keio turned to the astonished Princess Tutu. Her beauty was like an arrow that struck the Prince’s heart.

When he was about to get closer to the Princess, the princess thanked him and that made him a bit shy towards the princess. When Princess Tutu looked into the Prince’s eyes, she noticed that it was not the same as when she saw it before. She knew that there was something that changed in the prince. And it was that the Prince now has an emotion lingering in his heart- and so that was love.

After that night, they would always meet in the same place at the same darkness of the night to dance together in perfect harmony. They would dance like there’s no tomorrow and feel like the world is their stage. And these events made their feelings grow deeper and deeper for each other. And in the dark forest, the raven would shout with rage at what was happening between the two.

And one night, while the two were dancing together, the raven planned her attack. She hid behind the thick bushes and waited for a chance to stab the Prince’s heart with the poisoned feather. And when she found the chance, she quickly went out of the bushes, aimed for the prince’s heart, and in a matter of moments, the prince was down on his knees and was weak. The poison spreaded quickly across the poor prince’s body making him helpless. Tutu tried her best to help the Prince but the raven threatened her that if she would interfere, she would kill him at once.

The raven, together with the Prince, went back to her cave. And Princess Tutu tried to follow them through the dark, monster-infested forest. But as they went further, Princess Tutu had difficulty seeing through the forest because of the dark mist that covered the entire forest that grew thicker and thicker as the forest widens it’s area. In exhaustion and thirst, Princess Tutu decided to just continue the search up on the next day.

Azumi woke up early, got dressed and went for the Prince in the dark forest. After much searching and walking, she found a dark cave. She entered inside. And at the midst of it, she saw the raven holding the poisoned Prince Keio in captive. She challenged the raven to a battle. And whoever reigns victorious will take the prince. The raven agreed to the deal and the battle started. 

The battle was tough as both dancers wanted to win the prince.  Princess Tutu danced her way towards the Prince and looked into his heart. And she saw that his heart was black and full of hatred, sorrow and pain. She touched it and the poison went away from the Prince’s body and was instantly healed. The raven was furious at what was happening and went to Princess Tutu to attack her. But as Princess Tutu reached for Prince Keio’s hand, their magic started and the dance was made.

As they were dancing, the light from their dance made all the pain, sorrow and suffering and raven go away. The love they had for each other had helped them fight the evil raven. And as everything was all said and done, the Prince confessed his love for Princess Tutu. The princess was in silence and could not say a word. For if she confess her feelings, she will activate the curse set upon her that if she ever falls in love with anyone, she will not be able to confess her feelings because she will slowly turn to sparkles of dust and disappear.

But, looking into the Prince’s eyes, seeing all his love for her, made her want to set aside the curse and tell the Prince how she really feels about him. And she uttered the words: “I love you too. and… goodbye.” The princess turned into sparkles of dust in front of the Prince. Shocked about what had happened to his love, the Prince’s heart was again filled with sorrow and longingness. Thinking about what had transpired in their love story, the Prince still has his hopes up. He still believes that his one true love will come back in his arms and they could once again do their dance that used to be filled with love, passion and emotions.

Every night, the prince would go to their favorite place and dance his heart out. But weakness due to hours of weeping and loneliness made him unable to put grace in his dance and so making him weak and bringing him to the ground. And little by little, small teardrops began to fall on the earth as a sign of his sorrow. And on his side of the ground, he saw some kind of a shadow. And looking up, he saw the most beautiful cure for an aching heart- and sore eyes!

Deer Deer by Rosemarie Muñez

There once a deer that can't be distinguish of her true color because of the mud that stuck into her. She had been staying beside the river since her lover's mother cursed her about two scores and one year ago. There were many mountaineers had passed there but they never even dared to go closer into her. Not even the hunters hunted her because of the unpleasant smell and a thin feature of her body. Worst, even though her fellow deers and other kind of animals disregarded and didn't let her join in their play.
              The enervate expression of her eyes was shown. She did usually lay down the rocks silently and sometimes stand but didn't bother to have some wanderings within the mountain nor took a time to immerse herself into the water. To get for some foods, she ate only falling fruits every time she heard a "POK!!!" from its nearer area. Slightly she felt the luck when she got more foods one at a time so that she can preserved those beside her until the next day. At least she would not have a frequent walk.
               Everyday, she had a routine poem uttered in the morning:
                              "Let sunlight shines
                                to feel me fine
                                to know my worth
                                that everyday brought
                                though it's hard to live
                                without someone my love I give"
               Then, she ate fruits and gazed up the sky, look around and laid down back. As the moon showed up, she will utter now her nightly poem:
                               "Sleep at night
                                 without someone in my sight,
                                 alone only under the moonlight
                                 how could I possibly fight
                                 this loneliness in my heart
                                 during my sleep at night"
              One night, there was this old man who ran fastly for he was running over that python which wanted to bite him. What he did is, ran, rest, stood up when he knocked down to the darkest area of the mountain. He seemed to be breathless, gasping and was wet because of the sweat that flowed out from his body. That was what he had been when he felt the seemed tracking heartbeat.
               "I am so thirsty, I must drink water no matter what" as the old man spoke to himself.
 Near toward him, he saw the flowing river glistening by the moonlight. His eyes opened wide seemed assuring if that was really a river.
               "Here you are the answer of my thirst."
               With the total excitement that he felt, quickly, he walked near into it without minding the muddy and foul deer. Five steps before he could able to go closer into the river. Accidentally, there happened a contact in the eyes between them, the old man and the deer. He did not know how things turned that way but surely with his two eyes he witnessed the transformation of it. She turned into white-skinned, blue eyes just like a human eye and a healthy body were showed. To convince himself  he stepped forward to the river and fetch water through the used of his palm. After his drink, he did notice himself looking at the water's reflection. His face turned into a face of a young man and a gorgeous one. As he directly looked back again to the deer, still he saw the beauty of it. Immediately, the terror and tracking heartbeat of him had aroused.
               "By just that simple contact between our eyes I turned back my face? I might been en...enchanted???"
               He thought of it and wanted to escape from that horror but he can't even impelled himself and his knees were shaking.
               "Do not fear things that have happened now. I know you are much surprised for it."
               He was trying to search for the owner of the voice and he had been horrified to what he spotted. The old man's face was the same with him when he was still old. The more he was rattled. He attempted to run but the old man ceased him by holding his arms. He tried to drawn back his arms and spoke stammeringly.
               "Le...let me go, wh...who are you?! I've done no...nothing please do...don't curse again!"
               " Fear me not, I'm not going to hurt you. Remember, it was not me who cursed you and your loving "Sweat". It was your mother right?"
               It was in the midst of the night beside the river whom two lovers named Deer and Sweat were embracing and sharing sweet thoughts of love and making their own vow to one another. They made a vow that they were not going to give their relationship no matter how desperate Deer's mother of breaking them up. The real thing was, his mother had already had the woman wanted to be his wife that unfortunately he did not love.
               They were on that scene when Deer's mother came and yelled to them.
               "How indecent you are my son to oppose my command! You are not going to love that woman more!"
               "Mother, forgive me for this but you know how much I love her. Please... I'm begging you, just be happy for us."
               His voice was harshing and held tight Sweat's hands.
               "NO!!! And you woman! I warned you already for not meeting him again but you dismayed me!"
               "I'm sorry ma'am, but I love your son too." as she spoke it almost whispering because of the tears that flowed down from  her eyes.
               "I said NO!!! come and go home with me my son before I'll become impatient or else both of you will be punish!"
               The clamored of Deer's mother had caused him shaken for he know hos mother very well but that didn't change his plan to go away from his mother. Instead, he was eager to run away with Sweat. But then they did not success in escaping because her mother brought a companion who were just hiding behind them. They seemed to be a criminal for they were arrested by those four men and Deer was brought back to their home. Although he exerted his all force and screamed too much but then it still was not enough to actuate them.
               Sweat was left t the mountain in a form of a deer cursed by Deer's mother because a deer is full of horn.
               The total madness of Deer's mother had made her decide to punish him. His mother made him an old man.
               "His beauty as a gorgeous man was the reason why women had admired and loved him. so it must be perish."
               As his mother uttered these words, she felt like she cut her own heart.
               The sorrow that Deer felt was the reason why he left away from his mother.
               Deer was awakened by being fallen into a deep thought when the old man spoke again.
               "I am here to help you, no more no less."
               "But how? How could I trust you? I don't even know you? Give me some assurance."
               "Listen... just listen to me. I just want you and your Sweat be happy again. Alright, I have something to confess you."
               "You said you want to help me and now you want to confess something to me? What the..."
               He was not able to finish his words because the man interrupted.
               "I was the one who hurriedly overtake you awhile ago."
               "What??? Are you playing with me? It was only the python which wanted to overtake me, which wanted to..."
               He paused and confusingly thought for awhile.
               "Oh! a python, you were that python?"
               Then Deer mocked to the old man's ridiculous statement as he thought. Suddenly, he trembled and sweat started to flow out from his body and stepped backward when the old man exclaimed.
               "Yes! I was that python and I'm not playing with you!"
               The old man moved toward him as he stepped backward for he knew that the old man at that moment was seriously speaking.
                "To tell you, I was also cursed by your mother for I couldn't able to love her back. She was the reason why I turned into a python. She treat me like a traitor."
 He sighed and looked away with the tears in his eyes then continue, "Because of that, I
suffered much, I almost died for many times because many people wanted to kill me but thanks God because of that fervent prayers I made, I survived."
               "I still don't get you."
               He stopped, sighed and gave an eye to the old man.
               "You want to help me, right?
               "Yes" the old man answered.
               But why did you run after me and desired to bite me when you were still a python? and now, you turned into a human with the same face that I had when I was still cursed? What else do you want to tell me?"
               " I've been here for three scores that was since when I was twenty-five of my age roaming around the mountain and then I saw you, your woman and your mother quarreling. I also witnessed to what she did to your beloved Sweat."
              When he heard that statement, Deer had suddenly been more curious and interested talking with the old man.
               "So what happened to her?  Did she die? Where is she now? Where could I find her?"
               "When I saw you this evening, I got the hope that I might able to get back myself as a human. It was being said that when I'm going to bite the son of the woman who cursed me, the curse will end. Of course I am willing to do it because I know I will not harm you, I don't have venom, I'm just a python in look but not that whole."
               The old man grinned to his own statement and uttered again.
                "Without knowing that the curse on me will also end if your curse will end too. so here I am?"
                "Fine, you are free now and done with your story I assumed, but I asked you old man if where could I find her?!"
               Deer was blushing because he didn't know why he felt irritated to the old man.
               "Calm down young man, you are no longer find her and no need for any more walk."
                He looked to the old man unconvincingly  with a gap on his mouth.
                "She's here."
                He turned around to look for someone but saw no one. He folded his forehead and spoke.
               "Where? don't tease me old man!"
                "She's here in a form of it."
He pointed into the deer's direction which also staring to them since they had started their conversation. His face was seemed to be puzzle but a pity in his eyes for her was obvious.
                "How could I turn her into a human just like you?"
                "Take her to the river and bathed her. You are the only man who could let her end from her cursed."
                Without any hesitation he went toward the deer but before he reached into it, old man's voice echoed.
                "But remember you cannot just simply take her back into a woman without saying words."
                ‘’Words? what words?"
                "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I couldn't answer that."
                Deer turned back with a folded fore head but a sudden arrow had nearly pierced to the deer. Lucky enough for she was not hit by it. They were hunters wanted to hunt her. He was surprised and was shocked but had fastly recovered. So, he ran toward her to protect her but he was not successful.
                These three, men attacked him, punched him until his mouth bled.
                Please... don't kill her, please."
                He shouted for a help to the old man but he couldn't see him.
                To whom are you asking for help, man? To the trees?" said this one man and the rest laughed.
                "Why are so insane?! You risk yourself just yo protect this deer? We're hungry and you could join us to eat if you want?"
                   Then again they all laughed. Wherein, he got the strength to pick a palm-size stone and threw it into the head to one of those men . The man knocked down and Deer punched the other one, kicked off his manhood and fell down to the ground. The other man tried to avenge him through punching him too but he quickly elude from it and so picked another stone and hammered it to man's head.
                 Hurriedly, he carried the deer to the river, bathed her and brought back to the land.
                 He did not know but the deer showed another form of beauty that was unusual in his sight. Her body glittered, skin whitened as white as snow and horns disappeared. His eyes widened, mouth opened unconsciously and look every part of the deer's body. The words suddenly came out from his mouth.
                  "A dear deer"
                  With the blinked of an eye, a deer was no longer a deer but already a woman named "Sweat."
                  "You came Deer, I've been waiting you for a long time, oohhhh..."
                  She whispered those words with a melodious voice like the voices of unseened immortals whom Psyche heard in Cupid's palace.
                  They both hugged each other with no more words to utter. Only their eyes' expression can say how much they longed each other to be reunited.
                   While the three men cannot believed what they saw, they ran away from them horrified.
 AFTER THREE DAYS IN THEIR PILGRIMAGE...
                      They finally went home to Deer's house to ask again the consent and blessings from his mother but they found out that his mother had died a day after Deer left her. Somehow, he felt the guilt in his heart but he knew that his mother could able to forgive him.
                      What matters most to him was that he found his long lost woman in life.
                      They started their lives as couple in their neighboring city and was blessed a beautiful baby named "Dear" and promised to bring the happiness in the family forever.

Shadows of the Past by Milcah Bredonia

In the hallway of that house she was walking and passed by the room where her late sister stays before. She got curious on what was inside it because she doesn’t get inside at this room even in the old times, but now she wants to see it.

Every time she passed by this abandoned room she felt that there is something in it. It’s like there are footsteps following her. There is someone looking at her and she’s shivering.

She opened the door and got inside looked around and examines every inch, everything in this dull room. She saw a little notebook then she felt nervous and she knew that there is something in it. As if there were horses inside his system. Then she opened it then started to read.

My journal:

“Farfalla!” mother shouted, her voice roaring as if a mad lion. I am in the kitchen preparing for the huge dinner. This is the night that my beloved Vien and his parents will ask for the hands of my younger sister.

“Hey! You deaf! Am I not calling you? Have you done all the dishes for this especial night of your sister?”

“Ahm, ah… yes mother. It’s already done.” I answered in a trembling voice.

“I’m just finishing the garnish for this Honey Sweet Strawberry for the desert.”

“Don’t be so ridiculous Farfalla! You know it from yourself that Vien is going to marry your sister and you have nothing to do with this

While putting some chopped strawberries on top of the roll my eyes got wet and I cannot see what I was doing then but just the sweet moments that Vien and I have shared before.

I am sitting under the oak tree where I’ve used to go to unwind for some couple of hours from the stressful cruelty of my mother and perhaps my sister. While I let myself shed the tears this curious young man approached me and lends me his white handkerchief. Without uttering any words I feel the warmth comfort from him.

I looked up only being hypnotized by the brightness of his blue- green eyes. Oh! The lovely two eyes of him! He asked for my name but I answered stammering.

 “Ah…I am Farfalla, ahm…t-thanks for this. I-I have to go. I don’t want them to see me here. I said and I run in a rush did not mind what he has to utter.

“By the way my name is Vien.” He shouted.

That night while I was half sitting in my bed, I am dreaming of his face near me, the sparkling eyes that made me fall for him and that voice that makes me insane! That finally hit me and realized the new feelings that I have. It is new because I never have fallen in love before and always here, inside the four corners of this house that full of cruelty and madness of my family. I only have the time to escape when mother and Iszabelle went out. These new feelings that I have made me decide to fight but perhaps, I’m afraid, I’m afraid of what they could do to me.

Every day before the sun set, I was there at my place sitting and waiting that he may be coming. But there was no him there. As the day passed through I was being hopeless that he wouldn’t come back anymore. But I am determined to wait until he’s there, until I’d see him again.

One afternoon, while I’m on my way home from that oak tree, someone was calling me and I looked on and find that it’s him! It’s him who I was waiting for so long. My heart jumps into happiness but I controlled myself even if I wanted to hold him tight and confess my love.

“Farfalla, I know you’re already on your way home but could you just give me only some of your time please?” He asked in a hurry and panting.

“Ah…yeah…sure, what can I do for you?” I replied. Wanting and hoping that he would confess.

“I’ve been waiting for so long. I would grab the opportunity now that I think I have all the courage to tell you what I feel.” He said looking straight at me.

“Do you know that I’ve been watching you in a distance since I met you here with the tears and I got curious about you that made me think of you every night? You do not have any idea how I got crazy dreaming that I am holding you tight and lying with m—.”

“Are you telling me that you have feelings for me? Do you love me?” I said not finishing his words.

“Oh! Yes! I do love you since then. But I am afraid to tell you.” He answered with all the sincerity and love.

“But why?” I asked full of confusion.

“B-because if I had tell you earlier before you might not believe me. But now I’m all confident and sure with my feelings. That I love you! Could you accept my love for you?” he asked his eyes looking at me.

“Oh! Vien! Yes, I love you too. I really do love you! It’s the same that I’d loved you the day that we first met.” I replied full of love.

He closed my mouth into his warmth and sweet kisses. We kissed each other passionately until we couldn’t catch our breath anymore. We’re both moaning in the sweet tongue that explores each other’s.  How awesome the feeling of being in love and being loved. I couldn’t just express it in a single word. I felt like I was Cinderella then. Lived he life in a happily ever after. But when our lips parted there is a light in his eyes that bothers me. Then he speaks.

“Am afraid to tell you but I have to.” He said.

“What is it? C’mon tell me, maybe we could work together on it.” I replied.

“Ahh…m-my parents wants me to marry another woman that I’ve never loved. They wanted it to continue the traditions of the family and the friendship that they’d established since then.” He said with hurting voice as if in physical hurt.

“Oh…Couldn’t we just tell them about us that we loved each other. And maybe that could change their minds. I belong to the elite class too. And maybe I can help to you.” I said.

“That’s not that simple. They can leave me with nothing. They would do all the things that would ruin my life if I would disobey them. That’s how ruthless they are.” He said in a total worry.

“Better that you know that my dear son-in-law.” Mother interrupted. Iszabelle was in her side just looking on us.

I looked on him with my eyes asking. He couldn’t utter any single word to explain.

“Yes, Farfalla is it unbelievable that Iszabelle and Vien are soon to marry? His father and I have the agreement since I born Isza. And you two have nothing to do with this anymore. So you better end up what you just started. You have no right to be in live with this man anymore! Because he belongs to Isza now.” She said.

Upon knowing that my love will soon be married with my sister is very hard to accept and it hurting so much that my heart broke into pieces. I feel like I would die right there and then. I looked on him only to see the ring he wears. It pierces me and I looked to Isza too they have the same ring! Oh! I don’t know what to say and what to do anymore! I turned on to my back then run away thinking how to escape this nightmare. I walked towards my room then lay still nothing to think of…

After the dinner was done and the Gardoni Family have gone already and finalized the plan of the soon wedding I go to my room and lean for a while to gain just a little energy but I couldn’t.

 I just get a little old notebook and a pen then started to write. Why is it possible that I couldn’t think of the things but I can write what I have to? The pen just following what my hands has to do. I write the story of my life that‘s full of darkness that my family brought me in. full of anger.  Maybe someday they were able to find this little notebook and read the story of mine.

This night I will go back to that oak tree brings my final breath…

I made a position that will make me comfortable. I lean on the strong trunk of the oak tree, and then look at the horizon, feeling the gentle kisses of the wind blows that somehow chasing the sadness and fears that embracing me. Sadness of the fact that the man I’d vowed to love eternity will soon be married not with me but to my sister. Fears, yea, it is fear of what I could do if that moment comes. Thinking of the mad things as if it wasn’t me, as if there is a ghost whispering and commanding me what should I do.

I get the knife that I brought with me…in first it hurts like what the hurts they caused me…as the seconds passed through I felt the hot thick liquid flowing on my hands down to everywhere it flows. This is me, a woman that lives in all darkness, live in shadows.

She closed the note book and realized that she is filled with tears in her eyes. Yes... the shadows of the past. The shadow bothers her. This notebook is the key to unlock the mistakes of the past.

____